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Cheese is win. It may also be epic for some people. It goes with everything: melt it over chips, stick it in a sandwich, stick in a toasted sandwich, put it on a burger, add it to an omelette, etc etc blah blah.

Types of cheese

Most people are familiar with good ol' cheddar. This comes in various types like mature and extra mature and so on. It's generally the main type of cheese used in Ireland and by studenty types of subhumans (if they're not using Tesco Value Cheese Slices *gag*). Cheddar seems to be a standard among most people, having its own 'cheesy' taste and strength; other cheeses are often compared to cheddar's taste and texture.

Blue cheese is a favourite among those that dare to venture beyond the safe borders of cheddar. Don't ask me how it's made, other than that a blue mould is injected into the cheese at some stage. The result is a pungent and strong-tasting cheese, generally softer than cheddar.

Other types of cheese are edam, ricotta, parmesan (particularly nice on pasta dishes), brie and roquefort.

How to make cheese

An extremely easy type of cheese to make is paneer, which originates from the Asian sub-continent. It is an acid-set, non-melting cheese that is similar to cottage cheese.

To make paneer, simply bring two litres of milk to a simmer and gradually add the juice of two lemons (or a tablespoon or so of vinegar). The milk will seperate into curds and whey (curds being the chunky bit, whey being the watery stuff). When the whey is mostly slightly cloudy, strain the whole lot through a cheesecloth (a clean tea-towel or t-shirt will do the same) to catch the curds. Let it drain for a few minutes and then wrap it all up and squeeze it to drain as much of the whey as you can. Fuck the whey out when you're done.

Taste the curds. You'll notice it's pretty bland. If you wish, add spices or whatever you want at this stage and taste to see what it's like. When you've that done, wrap it up again and compress it somehow: placing it in a bowl and putting a plate or another bowl with added weight on top is one method, but use your imagination. Basically you want to squeeze out the remainder of the whey. After a few hours take it out of the cloth and wrap it in clingfilm. It should keep for a few weeks. Enjoy!